I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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