you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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