the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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