so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
