She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
