Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize