this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So. Much. Porn.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
