Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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