Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
