Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
