She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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