I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
