I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
