we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
