I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
