I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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