she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
