Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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