This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
