i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
