either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
