White coat. Heels.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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