and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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