I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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