i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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