ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
