Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
