How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize