I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
