i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
