Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
