In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
