Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
