I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Boobs speak an international language.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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