yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
