she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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