Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My dick has a subreddit
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
