I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
