just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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