I heard we made out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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