omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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