my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
