I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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