that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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