This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize