I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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