I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
