Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize