you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
