You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
