He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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