Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize