Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
