i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
