Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
