the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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