That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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