Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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