woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
