I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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