So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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