So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
