Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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