MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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