in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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