Umm I'm too high to move.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
