i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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