let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
