dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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