Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
