If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
