The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
