I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
