if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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