Do vagina's smell?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
