If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
