bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
