did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
