32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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