super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
handjob tips. give me some.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
