We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
